Weekend ahead

Saturday. Today I'd normally look forward to the weekend. I like Saturday after work. Last year we used to go out for lunch with a couple of friends and our families. They are Christian and it was comforting. this year there has been a distance growing bigger. Although we still are on friendly terms, they have mooved further along in a fashionista/public relations direction which has left our kids itchy and me feeling quite uncomfortable. Have you ever felt like smiling to a person but not wanting to look at them in the eye by fear that they may show your feelings of resentment?

(Picture from The Hermitage)

C has been very uptight with how the house looks. I am trying to be as calm as I possibly can when I explain that I cannot run after everyone and pick their clothes, dirty or otherwise, books, papers and stuff. I can hardly keep up with mine. I can squeeze in J's. But that's it. I am sticking my feet on the floor and don't move from that position. Full stop.

I think I expect too much of myself. Or I have too many balls in my hands. Whichever. Blame me if you want, but there are things I want to do, that I have wanted to do for a very long time, and which I want to do before age or illness make them impossible. Perhaps it's my growing up, but there you have it. I need my week ends to be as God intended them, a time to relax and do pleasant things. And that includes baking a cake or making cookies with my daughters, saying our evening prayers together and going for a walk.

It is perhaps my guilt-full education, but I do have this fear that I want to share with you, wise people. I fear that if I ask alot I may end up with time in my hands but sick and unemployed or without my familly. Is that "mind what you ask for " mindset familiar to you?

Thanks for reading. God bless you all.