the reluctant yogi

John-William Godward~golden hours

it has been a week. or more. a week of too much heat. i cannot sleep before 5 a.m. when there is a slight breeze coming through the door. that means i have three hours sleep at night. which means i have to nap at midday before going to work for the afternoon. it's quite exhausting, i tell you.
today i had a :hot: encounter at work too. a customer who owes us some money and insists that owing people is how the market works. i couldn't help telling her that that is the exact mentality that brought this country to where it is now. i hate confrontation. my hands were shaking and my breath was getting short, but over the years i have learned to control these impulses and keep a straight face when i have to.
thankfully, a friend came after her and we had a good, comforting laugh.

then in the evening F and I went to her yoga class together. she stressed it was only because her best friend with whom she goes to the gym was on holiday. which was ok with me. at first i was uncomfortable with that reflection on the mirror. how could she not do the pose her body was supposed to recognise after all these years of practicing? i thought "that is the first and last time i do this". then my mind was wandering, replaying the morning dialogue, then thinking of how to promote the summer sales. i followed a rule of acceptance, if you fall, you get up. and i went back into my practice. this time, knowing from confession that i can practice without feeling guilty of doing something non-christian, as long as other gods are not called upon, was puting me at ease with my practice and my physical existance.  in time , i got to like her, that breathing, moving, sweating lady across the mirror, and feel compassion for her. i think i even like her. and by the end of the session i was tearful and grateful. for my existance, for my daughter, for the evening, for the day...

i hope you all have a lovely weekend.